A Wall Is Not A Boogie Bank

The whole idea of using a wall in one's house or home as a place to store one's boogie collection is not exactly a sane idea.  That is unless of course you are designing a very clever collage and you are trying to keep it a secret until the masterpiece is finished.  

A Pool Is Not A Toilet

I don't know about you but I personally have no desire to swim in a toilet.  So the idea of swimming in a pool where people have no respect for others and want to pee in the pool, not my idea of fun.  So please remember, a pool is not a toilet.  And you thought this didn't have to be said?  But then again, maybe we could always install a large flush handle on the pool?

Never Hold A Naked Baby In The Air While Your Mouth Is Open

Some very sound advice for anyone about to hold a baby.  Make sure the baby is not naked.  If the baby is naked, do not hold the baby above your head, especially if you plan on opening your mouth in any way.  You never know what kind of surprise you might be in for if you do not heed this advice.  That's why it's Sage advice.  It might be crude, but it sure is wise.

Fart Sniffing Not Aroma Therapy

Much has been written on the subject of aroma therapy and all it's health benefits.  How uplifting or calming aroma therapy can be.  Well fart sniffing does NOT fall into the category of aroma therapy and not what we would consider good sound advice for anyone who is down in more ways than one.

Boogie Farming

You may see a little boy picking his nose in this picture.  We see something different.  We see an all new industry.  Boogie Farming.  He's digging deep for some precious goodies.  When all is said and done, he will breathe an all new sigh of relief.  It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.  Our hat off to this little guy.  Happy plucking.  May the snot be with you all.  By the way, boogies are actually rotted snot.  Snot rot is nothing more than the formation of boogies.  Think about it.

A Toilet Is Not A Good Place To Wash Your Hands

Some very sage but crude advice is not to wash your hands in a toilet.  Not really sure why but we figured any place where you dump human waste can't be good for washing your hands in.

Cheap Foot Message Solution

We found a real cheap solution for a fast foot message.  In fact, it's so cheap that you can even take advantage of this solution in your local Wal Mart or the local gas station.  Stick your bare foot in the toilet and give it a quick swirl.  Fast and cheap foot message.  What could possibly be better?  Hey, don't knock it until you try it.   Repeat as often as you wish. 

Free Temporary Solution For Glue

If you are looking for a free temporary solution to glue when none is on had, consider this.  Snot is a rather sticky substance and has been known to keep pieces of paper together for very long periods at a time.  So next time you find yourself looking for the glue, instead of driving yourself nuts looking all over the place, just hold one nostril closed and blow hard with the other one to work out some good snot.  Happy blowing.

A Toilet Is Not A Bathtub

Always keep in mind that a toilet is not a bathtub and not a very good place to think about taking a bath.  Sage advice in our opinion.  Chime in and let us know what you think.

Welcome Message

Welcome to Sage's Crude Advice.  Our mission is to entertain you offend some of you and in general, have fun with some very off the wall advice.  And we mean what we say, we think.  Not really sure.  You be the judge.  Take it for what it's worth.  This is a free site so you know what it;s worth already.  Enjoy and thanks for stopping by.